Real Gone (GREY) Girl

This is my final blog post as I have finally achieved my GREYT goal!

I lopped off my remaining old colour this week and updated my long hair with long layers. My hairdresser styled the cut by curling the ends. Voile^, transformation complete!

I was surprised by how emotional I became in the salon chair. The old colour was really a symbol for the old me. "Old" ironically pertaining to the colour that was supposedly "youthenising" my appearance. Seeing the remnants of my past lying scattered beneath my feet, waiting to be swept away forever, felt like a long earned achievement. The emotional and psychological process of this journey went deeper than the vanity aspect, that I had presumed ,would be the only issue.

It encompassed both the personal AND the societal aspect of a woman's appearance, most notably at a more "mature" age. My journey showed me that I do have natural self confidence through owning my choice & seeing through my goal no matter the pressures (both perceived, insinuated & direct)  friends, family, professionals, strangers, media & the fashion industry exerted at times.

I've embraced my grey hair. I've embraced my age. I'm actually flaunting it lol. I don't mind anyone knowing how old I am. The mythical "they" can get over it, I did.

The compliments I am now receiving are the icing on the cake. Who doesn't love sincere compliments? But even with none, I am at a place of deep acceptance of me & a really deep place of "don't care" lol.

I love my hair!! It is healthy, swishy, bouncy & long. The colour is all mine and no one else has it. It suits my skin tone perfectly. It is so much easier to maintain and so much cheaper as well. It's GREYT!

Everything Old Is New Again. Or Grey Hair Don't Care.

Winter is here in Oz. Snow caps & silver frost. See where I'm going with this lol.

After updated calculations, there are only 5 inches or 10 months of outgrowth to go.

I am not too fussed about trimming the distant dyed ends during the cold months. I will reward myself & celebrate the return of Spring with a freshen up then. Another 2 inches be gone!

What I am enjoying during the cold weather is discovering that natural coloured long hair on older ladies, looks on trend with mousse and finger tousled waves. It keeps the back of the neck warm also lol. You can top it with a beanie in Winter or Sun hat or cap in Summer. Add some statement earrings and presto you're one fashionable supposedly oldie. Don't forget lashings of very dark mascara to highlight your peepers or fashionable glasses frames. See, aging has its own beauty secrets :)

By this stage of growing out my own silver frosted hair, I have come to like the word "bromage."
That look of the ends dyed a different colour. Ok so my seemingly colour choice is daggy brown but it could still pass as the current hip, cool, style look going off at present lol. Also it has inspired my unorthodox slant on age appropriate style. I mean a few inches of border ends in turquoise or lilac could become the domain of the  long haired grey gang of rebels. We could make it our own sig. Like an ironic twist on the permed and blue rinse set of times gone past. Ah yes fashion. Everything old is new again. Homage to bromage by the older arged...I mean aged.

Compliments have been flowing in line with the flowing locks I unashamedly sport these days. From ladies in their 70s to women in their 30s & 40s. Older men double take & whilst visiting the USA in April a taxi driver became quite attracted toward me and not for tips lol. But back in Oz one young guy was overheard asking his partner waiting at the bus stop as I walked past, would she let her hair grow out grey when the time came? She declined and I didn't take any offence as really I just didn't care. Such is the confidence and freedom that I have achieved for myself through this process. Not sure if the guy was having a go or not, but the fact was he felt drawn enough to my hair colour and length to make a public comment. The other traditional grey styled older ladies received no such commentary from this self styled flannelette wearing fashionista I might add so I am going to take it as I must stand out when I let it all hang out lol. At least I haven't disappeared into that invisible abyss that our youth driven society seems to delegate to seniors. At least little children don't run screaming to their mums when they see me hahah.

As you can read I have pride in my long hair. It is a significant part of my identity. It always has been. Youthful abandon, womanly seductress and now Goddess wisdom. The double whammy of deciding to go grey as well as retain my length has shown me a lot of self truths. It wasn't just a vanity exercise. It has been about commitment, self belief, being true to myself and my values, moving into my next phase of life on my terms and loving myself through my aging process.

Oh what a silver wig we weave when we're patient & believe

It's another quarter since I've updated my blog. I have not trimmed my hair since Sept 2016 so it is due for a good 3 inches of culling, which I intend to do at the beginning of April before I fly overseas for a few weeks.

At this point of my transition to the other side of me I have reached a point of acceptance and what I believe to be an emerging sense of pride in my crowning glory. I have achieved this. Not just the appearance change, but the attitude change. The hair regrowth acceptance & the self acceptance.

My gorgeous 8 yr old Grandson quickly corrected me recently after I jokingly said I was old because I had grey hair. He told me I don't, it's silver. Which made me feel he was just as precious as the metal he described. I proclaim it to be official....I have silver hair.

By this time next year I will have a totally waist length, silver head of hair. Oh how there will be rejoicing in the streets (well in front of my bathroom mirror anyway). How the masses will swoon at my crowning brilliance (well my partner may notice if I hint off enough). Social awareness will be forever uplifted (well my hairdresser will forever give up the notion of getting me to recolour). I shall swish and flick with gay abandon, looking tres chic and confident to all (at least in 1 selfie after many attempts, where the angle & light are just so).

But until then I'll keep spinning & sprouting silver threads at a rate of 1inch per 2 months like a little silk worm.

Silver Bells, Silver Belles...

Ok so we are heading into the silly season and I thought I might post a quick update on my transition to grey so far. Whilst I don't resemble Mrs Claus I don't much resemble the old me either lol. I have yet to get my obligatory 2 inch quarterly trim this month, but as Summer has hit OZ, it is easy and convenient to just plait or put up my long hair which also disguises most of the regrowth now. This helps me to bide my time amongst the hectic Christmas schedule.

Our bright sunny skies help my silver scone reflect beams of light towards unsuspecting onlookers hahaha. Hey I have byo tinsel for any festive gathering no
w lol. I'm actually enjoying how light  my hair looks these days. The natural and very gradual regrowth process has not been the dramatic shock a sudden colour change would have incurred. So I am really glad I persevered with my choice to grow out naturally.

Another interesting fact for me was that as a young child I was naturally light haired for my first few years. This little bit of info has helped me during those times when those rare but inevitable questions from within occurred. It strengthened my resolved to let nature do her thing, just as she did in the beginning. Light hair was naturally mine once before right?

Christmas colours of red, green and silver, beach colours of blue hues and pastels & NYE LBDs are all going to suit me now, even with my older skin tone. I can do dark eye make up OR bright lips and not seem harsh or drawn now, as my silver, lighter hair softens that starkness.

I feel lucky as I have a lighter version of my mother's very dark olive genes which means my silver hair won't go completely white, but will retain some strands of darkness for that b & w depth of look that I am quite partial to as well as skin tone that will never be ghost white, ruddy or pasty. Yeah I think this is going to work out ok :)

Silver bells, silver belles...

Shine A Light....

I am now half way into my transition. Only another 18mths to go to reach my desired length, which is waist length locks.

I recently had another 2 inches lopped and long layered. It had been 4 months since my last cut. I am really pleased with my hair's health these days. The shine and bounce, to me, is very noticeable. My hairdresser spontaneously commented, rather surprised, that my hair is really healthy. Funny that...natural can be healthy lol.

The interesting thing I am finding now is the unsolicited negative comments are becoming balanced out by unsolicited compliments. This seems to coincide with the regrowth length ha ha... half & half now.

My only daughter was a strident naysayer until recently, when she told me "It looks good now Mum". High praise indeed! Although it was my son--in-law who made my week. Quite unexpected he came over to me in public, began playing with my hair and said "I love your hair it really suits you, it really shines." Vindication finally! lol. As another observation- it is the younger males who seem to compliment pics of my hair?? Maybe I'm on trend with my reverse colour and Earth mother statement haha. Whatever their perceptions, I am enjoying the positivity.

Another perk to flaunting my silvers is the different attention I now seem to get from shop keepers. All age groups are seemingly less guarded towards me and more open to friendliness and helpfulness. Silver signifies nothing to hide maybe? Silver signifies open and natural maybe? As I commented to an older lady who pointedly stated directly and disdainfully that she would never stop colouring her hair, " Each to their own."   Hmmm...who's really the colour blind?

Just as an aside, my tatts never rate a mention?? Thus proving societal perceptions on what constitutes acceptable individualistic appearances for older women can change...but frankly I don't give a toss (of a long shock of silver hair) lol.

Anyway here's my latest lock, I mean look :)

Silver Hair a Lightening Rod

My grey hair has been attracting comments. Unsolicited comments from both males & females. I have to admit the comments were thinly disguised criticisms for the most part & 2 sincere attempts at making me feel better. All occurring on the one night. A Full Moon night at that!

"Oh you are very brave, I wish I was brave enough to stop dyeing my hair."
"Now I don't want you to take this the wrong way but your daughter would really like to dye your hair. You should let her."
"Here comes the scary hair lady." This one not so thinly disguised.

To make it worse I had spent 2hrs and top dollar to have my hair placed in an updo for my daughter's wedding.

I am now thinking that my personal property ie. my metallic hair colour, acts as a lightening rod. It attracts flashes of cracks out of the blue, straight back to me. Logically I must prepare for the shocks. So what to do? Quit blinding people with my polarising attempt at natural hair colour by giving out free tinted sunglasses? Wear a T Shirt that says " YES I KNOW, It's On Purpose"? Silver gaffa tape across their laughing gear to match my grey locks may come across as a bit extreme. Possibly a handbook on good manners? No, just a toss of my mane & a cheeky wink is all I need. Zap right back at ya!

Curiously no one approached my elderly, white haired mother to pass comments. Nor to any of the silver haired or bearded gentlemen present.

My journey towards long silver locks has now become a personal crusade. It is my shield and banner displaying  my right to my own hair choices. Picture me holding aloft my wide tooth comb as I proclaim this. I have roughly 2 years to go to achieve my goal of waist length pewter, silver & white tresses. My rainbow (g)rays. I will not be dissuaded, cajoled or insulted into abandoning my path. Peace.

I have booked an appointment for a long layered style cut next week. My aim is to get a substantial (at least for me) amount of old colour lopped out, as well as some cool shape happening without sacrificing my length. I have sought some example pics for my stylist whose talent I trust.

My grey is growing in at seemingly distinct lengths. The top layer is the shortest, followed by a mid layer that now reaches my jaw line, then the underneath section that is to my shoulders. Ideally the style cut will blend these distinctions, leaving just the length from my shoulders carrying the old colour burden.

I've posted some pics of long hair layered styles, myself dolled up at wedding, me a la natural & regrowth undercover. I've also now added in 2 pics of my newly long layered cut.

I'll go back to the salon in 4 months to trim off 2 more inches, followed by 2 more inches 4 months hence. By my calculations that will then only leave approx. 2 inches of regrowth at the longest lengths to be chopped sometime early 2017.

Pewter Progress

As it is about to become the silly season I thought I'd update & muse over my silver regrowth this past year. Yes it's been almost a year since my resolute resolution to my grey hair conundrum. That I can say as I have yet to imbibe any Christmas cheer lol.

One thing's for certain, I do not have a single regret! Even when recently, my youngest Grandson, was looking through some photos and spied one of me taken only last year. He proclaimed in astonishment, "Oh Ninna, you were really young there!"  I had my roots died in the photo hahhaha. So I pondered the connotation of grey hair equating to old age in the perceptions of children. True, grey hair & wrinkles are outward indicators of aging. Yet I began greying at 19 years of age?? What if I had the courage back then to let nature take its course? By my 3rd child I would have been doing the pregnant waddle with a full head of greys. Wouldn't that have upset the stereotype! So my conclusion is children are impressionable & adaptable. This same Grandchild was equally surprised to see me recently cycling with him, "Ninna I didn't know you could ride a bike!" Yes it's amazing what us grey headed women can do when we rise from our crypt lol. This darling lad has cemented my convictions!

But the more pressing concern for me is my daughter's upcoming wedding. Namely MY dress, MY makeup & MY hairstyle. hahaha. After all it's all about me don't you know? So to suit my transitioning tresses I have gone for a blended black, white & light grey irregular lace & chiffon, slightly embellished number. Silver strappy heels & some bling accessories. Topped off with a loose French roll with my silver tendrils highlighting my face and nape. Bold lips & nails for contrast. False eyelashes at a tasteful length to prevent my eyes from disappearing into the silver light lol.Lets see how that all comes together. It's a mid Summer affair here in Oz so the obligatory tan may actually promote my shiny silver locks too.

Here are some up to date, candid photos of my pewter progress.

And my dress.

Silver Lunar Lady

Well here it is almost 10 months since my foray into grey & what have I learnt? I have learnt that no one really blinks an eye at my dappled dome these days. Now that may be in part due to my ...ahem...mature years, or it may just be that I am now so comfortable in the process that I don't look for signals anymore.

My silver halo is dropping ever so slowly to almost my jawline these days. The undergrowth is sitting at collar length. Quite frankly I am disappointed that my regrowth is so uneven. I would love to see the uniform effect of all my silver slivers brushing my shoulders together. Although I can get a nice effect if I wear my hair up piled as the wispy underneaths frame my face with the whiter look.

I have had approximately 4inches trimmed since beginning this journey so my ends have never looked better...pity they're so faded these days. Yet I am still stubbornly determined to not be deterred. I have only another 2 and half to 3 years until I am waist length in silver, white and pewter hair aura.

Here are some pics I took yesterday. I usually wear my hair up for convenience and to show less contrast. But just recently I have begun to embrace once again, my naturally long, wavy locks. It is quite freeing and is all part of making no apologies for my choice to be me in whatever way I choose.

I am embracing my 50s, my creativity and my silver tresses. I have been the Maiden, The Mother & I am now in my next Lunar Goddess phase of the Crone. )0(  Silver is the Lunar Lady's colour after all.

Finding the Silver Lining

Well my monthly journal is morphing into a quarterly journal, just as I am morphing into a long locked lady of silver. My vision of a white haloed ethereal portrait of elegant, ageless womanhood is becoming more of a down to earth reflection of some white, some silver and (quite surprisingly) still some dark hair sprouting out of my scalp. Nevertheless, I am an optimistic soul at heart so I'm convincing myself that the longer it grows, the more silver white on the top while the blended colour will be relegated to the lengths of the eventual lopped locks at the bottom.

I have to say that the transition for me thus far, has been relatively painless. The only complaint I have is that it takes soooo long. I really am excited to see my colour at a longer length. I don't mind that it will take years to achieve the waist length that I will always have. But I am very impatient to get to a length that frames my whole face.

I have been keeping myself up to date with new colours for my new hue. It really has been true that the more natural the colour of my hair, the softer & more complimentary for my complexion. I like the fact that my eyebrows are still dark brown so I won't be fading completely into oblivion. Yes I'm still holding tight to my vision of white/silver. Also I don't know if I am deluding myself, but I seem to be noticing my eye colour a lot more in my reflection. I am gravitating to silver or black drop earrings at present to offset wearing my hair pulled back, either in a plait or a bun. I haven't felt the urge to hide my regrowth under hats or scarves. I have noticed I do need mascara at all times. The bonus for me is I can now go back to more colourful makeup and clothing. This is such a release for me because I absolutely love love love colours. Wearing them, looking at them, designing with them. I realise the compromises I had to make for my coloured tresses now. All those neutral & pastel shades....yawn. Whodathunk a chick in her 50s could scrub up sporting a vivid lilac and lime green print dress and lace up ankle boots, with salon straightened hair incorporating a wide silver regrowth, along with an actual red shade of lippy and get admiring male attention & compliments? I sure as heck didn't but guess what?

So here a few more real life piccies of my journey. Roughly 4 months to date of regrowth.

Grey Hair Regrowth...I'm going to age greys fully!

1-2-2105- Well I’ve committed to the journey of growing out my greys and celebrating ME! Now this is a revolutionary concept for me. I have been hiding my greys since 19 yrs old & I’m about to turn 52! I was as committed to hiding them as I was to keeping my hair long & dark. I still refuse to go short, or even medium length. It is waist to bum length all the way baby!

I have put in days of research in preparation for the journey back to me. I’ve got supplies of other women’s stories and pics to sustain me along my trip. I’ve packed info and links to stockists for silver hair care products. I’ve planned my route via hair length, hair cut style & co ordinates of 1 inch hair growth= 2 months.

I have just measured my hair from my 1 inch skunk stripe edge to tip. It is 2 ½ ft or 30 inches. (approx 90cm for my metric sisters). It sits atop my butt at present. My strategy is to get 2, I say 2, full inches lopped off this month. A never before act seen.  Thereby leaving 28 inches of dark hair. Now if I continue to trim an inch every 2 months I can retain my length and reduce my dyed hair 6 inches a year. So in theory I’ll be totally natural & long haired in 4 ½ years. This is a mega trek ladies. No fluffing around nicely paved, park walkways. No power walk along sandy seashores. No, not for this rebellious nanna, it’s a jump in boots and all, long haul, back pack laden, huffing & puffing trek up the white peaked(appropriate) Kathmandu mountain. Ah but the view...

My hair has always been my defining description. “the chick with the long hair”, “Morticia”, “I love your long hair” etc. My ex hubby would love to sit and brush it. I have even trained very pushy hairdressers to not trim too much off it EVER. When I told my 30yr old daughter yesterday about my expedition to find silver, the first comment she had was “are you going to cut it?” Her world continued to turn when I exclaimed “no way!” In fact those whose opinions matter have just given me bemused smiles. I think they are used to my eclectic approach to fashion and appearance (not to mention other things in my life), so have just added this to “Linda’s way out & weird interpretation of life.” Although I did appreciate the comment from a male family member who, after a few minutes of just staring with a strange look on his face and a mouth twitch, finally spoke, saying “well we all change how we look eventually.” His sage words were quickly followed by “but you’re not going o cut it though are you? I don’t think short hair would suit you.” My reply kept his world turning also.

So from once hating the dreaded silver streak regrowth, I’m getting quite excited and already impatient to see my shade of grey. I want to see how my skin & eyes look framed by my REAL colour. From trying to hide it, I now want to keep looking at the progress from all angles. I am willing it to grow, grow GROW!! I have figured that with short layers to frame my face and a long layer cut at the back, the front silver face frame may be in place in time for my daughter’s wedding next Feb 2016. The long back portion could be tethered into a loose uplift.

I am really encouraged by other women’s experiences of softer and better conditioned hair. Of course I’ll now have more money to spend on quality products and salon cuts & conditioning treatments, to rock my silver locks! But my qualms over wiry and unruly steel wool sprouting from my scalp have been assuaged. Makes sense to me that natural, as opposed to regular chemicals on my noggin, would feel & look healthier. ( aided & abetted by organic  enhancers.)

I refuse to kowtow to society’s mantra of grey hair is better short, or grey hair makes you look old and washed out. Man some of the pics I have of long, silver haired women are stunning. We’re not talking the young & gorgeous maiden & mothers here, but women of the crone calibre.

There is much talk amongst the silver sub subculture as to the tone of our individual grey. Even the descriptions sound sophisticated, cultured and refined. Pewter, steel, ice white & silver. It seems nobody wants to have grungy grey. It’s like a personal status symbol because it’s all natural grow your own. Therein lies my excitement. It truly is my unique colour. I am already liking the colour I’m seeing. I’m lucky in that I can wear my hair straight without too much taming or leave it to dry long and curly scrunched. Oh the images of sexy untamed earth mother, feminine silver sleek goddess, a permanent halo of light reflection to soften the lens focus...but I digress. This is HUGE ladies. It is longer than the pregnancies of my 3 children combined! I have trouble committing to what I’ll cook for dinner...at lunch time!

I have been transitioning into this crone phase of life for the past few years. “Transitioning” is also what us grow your own grey converts call the between phase of “ditch the dye” & “silver lock rockin”. It just feels a natural transition for me, first divorce, then menopause, new home, new location, no more kids at home, new life, and unstereotypical image...free to be me! So honey I’m gonna let it all hang down. Hey I’m a child of the 60s, I’ve lived up near Nimbin (my youngest still does), peace, love & mung beans baby. Power to the(pewter) people. So I’ll be rockin those silver locks & fighting the establishment, oh yeah. Although  I’ll stop short of becoming a silver hairy, ganja faerie (good ole Rainbow region/ Nimbin...what a trip...)

I’ll update in a month. Meanwhile here are some pics I’ve called my Inspiration, Aspiration & Determination. As well as just some of me called.....Feb.